Marriage homework

Even couples who are respectful and kind with one another can get to a point where DIY efforts are destined to fail. Some couples fall into a pattern where one partner not only does most or all of the emotional work in the relationship, they also try to fix their partner's personal problems.

The earliest marriage counseling models focused on helping couples build their communication skills. These skills are now widely taught outside of the therapy room. One of the most effective communication skills for couples comes from Marshall Rosenburg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

Simply put, you can't. But that doesn't mean there aren't things you can do on your own to help improve your marriage (or other intimate relationship—marriage or couples counseling methods work for all types of couples). And there are many good reasons to try. When Shouldn't You Try DIY Marriage Counseling?

I like to think of it as a Personal Marriage Manual (PMM) or as a Homework Assignment for a Happier Marriage. What you need to create it: loose leaf note book, paper, three-hole punch, scissors, glue and some pretty pens. Treat your manual like a very special homework assignment.